Woody's World Turns Left....Into Australia by John Wood

Author:John Wood [Wood, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781467888387
Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
Published: 2012-08-08T00:00:00+00:00

I am sailing, I am sailing across the water…

AIRLIE BEACH

LOCATION:- AUSTRALIADATE: 10TH JUNE

Up nice and early to start my day, had to really, otherwise would have nothing to write. I walked up to the team sail booking office and handed over $45 for a stinger suit. (Explain that one a bit later).

Bruce, who was on guard at the reception, told me I could not take any bags on board with me and everything had to be in a carrier bag; fair enough I thought. Knowing my luck, my bag would end up going over the side and that would be a bit of a problem.

With those instructions I headed back to the hostel to sort my bags out, having found a carrier bag, sorted out what I need for my sailing expedition around the Whitsunday Islands, not forgetting my share of the high quality wine, which got divided between Hannah and I, into no expenses spared plastic bottles. Saying goodbye to Hannah, I headed out to the meeting point.

There I was walking down the street with a flimsy carrier bag and a bottle of what looked like p**s; tasted like it as well.

Found the meeting point, where I had been instructed to go as the designated meeting point, along with the allotted time of 12:30pm. I waited and waited, oh and waited that little bit more. 1:30pm we eventually started. Shocking, I mean what is it with me, do I have ‘tell me a lie’ written on my face. Although I did take advantage of the extra hour and grabbed myself a dinner and did some people watching.

Australia is a mixed bag of a place, with various influences from all over the world, mainly America and us. However I feel that the Germans have put their two Euros in the pot as well and introduced the ‘Zee old socken und flipzie flopzie look’. A look I do not really get. Two things really: the first is it looks bloody stupid and the second, why? If you get cold, wear trousers, not socks up as far as they will go, so it looks like you’re wearing tights; never catch me wearing tights, Oops, hang on, spent fifteen years wearing them. I really do not get it.

Everyone turned up at their allotted time of 1:30pm, walked down to the boat wherewe had to hand over our shoes, as they were forbidden to be worn on board. Our vessel was called ‘Rogue 2’. I have come to understand the tourist industry. When they present a picture of your transport, in real life it looks absolutely nothing like it; looked at the boat and then again at the picture that was presented to me on booking the tour. What the f*** happened? The bloody thing had been vandalised; it looked nothing like the picture and there were certainly no blonde bikini clad girls sprawled out on the deck, all draped over the rigging, I tell you, disappointed or what.

Bit like the lynx adverts where

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